It's Nov 19 2024 1:50pm

I am sitting in lab working on chia-pet hiChip Pipelines and working on more than 5 projects and 3 diffrent ideas, productivity is on its peak i am staying in lab till 1am at night, i am happy with what i am doing but at the same time i feel like something is off i am becoming more selfish i do talk with my mom 2 times a day for more than 30 mins everytime but i am not spending much of my time anywhere else

As of now my currect Schedule looks like

i just have lectures on monday (entire day) other than that

I will wake up at 10am, make lunch go for bath, go to my lab, come back at night and repeat from last 1 year, even chris was inviting to his home for thanks giving i was like i have some work (basically work comes first), so i have not yet reached the saturation point just because i am working on really cool topics like deeplearning, pipeline ust so that i can get a good job in future, but i am not putting attention on anything at all like my mom's issue i rarely call mira once in a month, when ever i call mom in morning she picks up the call but other than that never i also keep forgeting their bithday all the time and when someone like shiddi says she is going india do you want to send something i am like i am broke and i don't know we are so detach materialistically that it dosent bother us at all, it does to mira but not to me and my mom

BTW i have new crush in lab, i was like before i make any move let me just talk to my mom are the ready to accept her and man reply was dangerous like a typicall mini war like situation they were strickly against that and i told them just dont pressure me to find a girl from now on or else i will get you a forigner.

Other than that mom i applying for some paperwork and i am more scared i don't know why when it comes to jobs,money i triggers all of my senses, i will stay extracarefull to the point i will get nightmares sometimes

Everything is good but i think i am just not getting out yesterday i was talking with chris and he asked when did you got out of glassboro last time i was like a year back with him to his house after that no where else, other than that i did but for dinner with proffessior for alcia's thesis lunch then when alicia was moving to melbourne and one time in phily with tanmay guys

But i think i am not goign anywhere is like i dont like going anywhere alone i need someone what will i do if i go there alone, (it's not like i am lonely i do have lots of friends here but i am talking about my closest like girlfiredn someone), so once i get mattied or even engage i will start going outmore anywhere outside my lab and what i am working on till then work on the carrier part